~Cavca

this is a rant, so if you don't know anything about my life or want to hear me bitching about my family and current situation, delete this now, okay? Also, a prior note, I don't mean to insult anyone who reads this if they get that opinion. I am simply expressing my irritation to people who might respond.





Okay, so my mother's WONDERFUL girlfriend is home. For those who know me and my relationship to 3/4ths of the women my mother dates, you know that she is a blatant pain in my neck. She was gone for a month or so in Mexico for something to do with recruiting people to teach Spanish in downtown Omaha schools. In any case, my mother and I have a tendency to fight...a lot. Whenever one of us is stressed, you can near bet there will be a yelling match. Anyway, Julia left on the 6th of July and came back last Saturday. We hadn't fought in the three weeks Julia had been gone until last Tuesday when my mother realize that Julia was going to be home in less than a week.


Whether my mother knows it or not, dating causes her stress, particularly because almost all of her girlfriends end up living with us. --Okay, side bit: most of you know that my mom's mom, Jan, has been staying with us for a few years to make sure we don't get evicted while my mom is going back through college, right? Well, at the beginning of the summer, my dad's mom, Erma, came to live with us while my mom cleaned out her death trap of a home. (She lived through the Great Depression, so she's more of a pack-rat than I am.) So add the stress of trying to clean away at least 3 decades of piled up junk in this house with the fact that she's still going to school and the knowledge that she will have to make room in this new house for me without me being there because she will have already had to move me back into college(another thing I'm pretty sure she is freaking out about) and now enter the girlfriend who will constantly, if "lovingly," be putting pressure on her to get Erma's house cleaned out so that we can move in there. Thus, not being able to take out her irritation and stress on Julia who could, but probably never will just to spite me, leave her, my mother takes out her stress by attacking me for making a comment or asking a favor she disagrees with. This attack causes me to become defensive, and a screaming match occurs.


But it gets better because that's just the stuff dealing with my mother. Let's add on the fact that when I moved out to college, my sister moved into my room at my dad's and took control of pretty much everything. I was really only left with a bed. Well, this weekend, my sister decided that she was going to bitch me out for the fact that my bed took up so much space in her room even though I'd had pretty much the same amount of space when I was in it, and I dealt just fine. So pretty much my sister is collaborating with my step-mom who is angry that I have boxes in another room in the house(this room was supposed to be mine, but she would sleep in it so that she could be close to her kids--she can't sleep with my dad because he snores--but since she would be in it pretty much all the time, I refused to take her space from her, so all I have is two or three boxes in the side of her room.) to kick me out all together; or at least to make me feel like I don't belong there in any sense of the word.


Next, let's move on to the fact that I have less than two weeks before I move back into college for which I have no means as I have no boxes even though my mother has been bitching at me for a week that I need to get ready for college again. Once there, I will have to deal with people I'm pretty sure have come to nearly hate me, I will be leadership in a club I barely know anything about leading, and I will be in a room with a girl who is obsessed about her boyfriend, both of whom have decided to ditch me entirely for the other(well, near entirely in the girl's case, entirely in the boy's). Not only that, but Friday, I get to drive down to Wayne anyway to help a friend register for classes, a friend who is pretty much completely relying on me to get them into college and take care of them. I have another friend who wants me to do the same for them, and I'm trapped by about three other things that I'm not sure what to do. At this point, the only thing calming me down are three people, one of whom I'll be leaving when I go to college, the other two will be so wrapped up in other things that I won't get to see them much either.


THEN, there's my situation with friends: my best friend has officially left me because her family no longer even lives in Omaha anymore, so it is fairly unlikely that I will get to see her for more than two weeks per year if that. A person I felt was like a wonderful little sister moved away and is alone in Texas on all holidays(the rest of the time, she'll be in Wisconsin), and if she decides to come back to Omaha, I'm pretty sure that it will be to see her boyfriend(or ex-boyfriend turned friend who they both still have feelings for as the case may turn out to be). Then there's the kid who claimed to be my best friend who has turned on me so many times, I'm not even counting anymore. I've come so close to just ignoring him all together, but I have other friends who would get angry at me for it. I have "a few" friends who focus more on their boy-toys than anything else to the point that they really couldn't care less if the rest of us dropped out of existence. I'm just sick of all of it right now.


So there's my rant for today. I apologize again if any of you think I'm talking about you. That could be, or you could be guilty without me knowing it. In any case, I did not mean to upset you. I simply wanted to rant. Please don't take anything personally. The past few days, shit has happened that has had me so angry that my stomach has been in knots. Anything I said was purely for my benefit to get it out. To those of you who read this entire thing, thanks. I need a good friend like you sometimes.